Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
