i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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