I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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