That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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