you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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