I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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