One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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