VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
