I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
