i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
My breasts were aching with rage.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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