every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
