Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
