I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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