so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
