For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
