did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
