it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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