Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
