Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
