A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize