Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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