Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
