so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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