No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
