Can Purell be used as lube?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
