my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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