You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
YAS. BRING CRAB.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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