Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
