she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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