I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Randomize