I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
