I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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