its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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