I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
