just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
