i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize