I'm eating all of the evidence.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Randomize
