tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Randomize
