i would punch a child for taco bell
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
