I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
