got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
