Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
