I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I think your dad took our porno
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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