Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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