you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
