you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Randomize
