he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
