Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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