Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I would fuck him just for his dog
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
