I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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