then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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