if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
