you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
