i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Panties = found
Randomize
