took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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