Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
