Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
