Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
