i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
