pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
