Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
