There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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