from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Randomize
